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Divorce is hard on everyone involved, especially children. When kids are involved in a divorce, it is important that the parents do not forget that the children are impacted by the decision to split up the family just as much as anyone else. Children have trouble understanding why mom and dad no longer want to be together, and can have difficulty adjusting to the changes that go along with a divorce. They may also be scared of the divorce and uncertain as to what it will mean for them and their sense of security. Below are a few helpful tips for helping your children deal with your divorce.
Easy-to-understand conversations go a long way.
Children are very sensitive and vulnerable by their very nature, and adding a divorce doesn't make things easier. The best thing to do is to discuss your divorce with your children, in a way that reassures your child or children that you love them. An explanation of what a divorce is would be helpful to your child, but you need not go into any details concerning your adult marital problems.
Find outside help to make the idea of divorce understandable.
There are many resources available to divorcing parents to help explain the present family situation to children. For instance, many child-friendly cartoons, shows and books have addressed the issue of divorce and living in two separate homes. Kids sometimes relate to their favorite characters more easily than their parents, and might be able to see their parents divorce differently if they can see that someone else they know and trust is going through or has gone through a similar situation.
Kids need to feel loved and supported and be reassured that the divorce is not their fault.
One of the biggest problems with children and divorce is that children often assume that somehow they are the reason that the divorce is happening. This is partly because they are so young, and partly because mom and dad have probably hid the problems in their marriage from the child, so to the child it feels sudden. Kids try to place a cause to the divorce and often blame themselves. They feel insecure, unstable, often blindsided and unsure because everything they have ever known is about to change. Reminding your child often that he or she is loved by you and your ex-spouse is important for providing your child with support during this tough time.
Answer questions to the best of your ability.
Your little one will ask a lot of questions as you go through the divorce process together. It is important that you try to answer the questions, without being too negative. You should be honest, but remember some answers might not be child-appropriate. Take the time to listen carefully to your child's questions and concerns. Your child is having a lot of feelings and thoughts and will need to express them, and will need to feel like you are receptive to his or her thoughts or feelings.
Reaching Out to a Charleston Family Law Attorney
Kids can take the divorce of their parents extremely hard, and it is up to the divorcing parents to try and help the children through it. Keeping the details and legal affairs of your divorce away from your children is good first step. If you are seeking a divorce from your spouse and you have children that you are worried about, please do not hesitate to contact the Charleston family lawyers at Sarji Law Firm, LLC today. We can work with you to help minimize the impact of your divorce will have on your children. Please contact us by calling 843-323-4341.